If U R in the US, U don't open conversation (on telephone) with a "Hello" but with a "Hi"

The telephone is never "engaged", it's always "busy".

U don't "disconnect" a phone, U simply "hang-up".

U never "mess-up" things, U only "screw them up".

U never have a "residence" tel. no., U have a "home" number.

U never have a "office" tel. no., U have a "work" no.

U don't stop at the "signals", but halt at the "lights".

U don't "accelerate", U "step on the gas".

Your tyre never "punctures", U may have a "flat".

Trains have no "coaches" or "boggies' only "carriages" or "boxes".

There R no "petrol pumps", but "gas stations".

"I don't know nothing", 2 negatives don't make a positive here.

U no longer meet a "wonderful" person, U meet a "cool dude"

U don't pull the switch down to light a bulb, rather you flickit up.

U don't "turn on the heat", U "turn on the juice".

There's no "Business Area" ... only "business districts", and no"districts" but "counties".

No one stays "a stone's throw away", rather "a few blocksaway".

There's no "Town Side", it's "Down Town".

In a hotel U no longer ask for a "bill" and pay by "cheque", rather you ask for the "check" and pay with "bill"s (dollar).

There R no "soft drinks", only "sodas".

Life's no longer "miserable" it "stinks".

U don't have a "great" time, U have a "ball".

U don't "sweat it out", U "work yr butt off".

Never "post" a letter, always "mail" it and "glue" the stamps, don't "stick" them on.

U no longer live in "flats" , U live in "apartment".

U don't stand in a "queue", you are in a "line".

U no longer "like" something, U "appreciate" it.

"#" symbol is not "hash", it's "pound" sign.

U R not "deaf", U have "impaired hearing".

There are no "lunatics", Only "mentally challenged people".

And you are not be called a "short person", you are a "vertically challenged" person.

U R not "disgusting" U R "sick".

U can't get "surprised" U get "zapped".

U don't "schedule" a meeting, U "skejule" it.

U never "joke", U just "kid".

U never "increase" the pressure, U always "crank" it up.

U never ask for a pencil "rubber" U ask for an eraser because a rubber is a condom!

U don't try to find a lift... U find an elevator.

U no more ask for a route but for a "RAUT"

U don't ask somebody "How r u ?", U say "What's up dude?" or U say " How U DOIN man"

U never go to see a ball game U go to watch a game.

There's no such thing as a "zero" its called an "o", and no "Z"-"ZED" there is only "zee".

There's no FULL STOP after a statement, there's a PERIOD.

If someone gets angry at U, U get "flamed".

U Drive yr car on Parkways and always park your car in the DriveWay!

You do not ask for brinjal ... ask for EggPlant .

Also there are no ladys finger ..its Okra !

Well u dont' say life is boring u say LIFE SUCKS !!!!!

In short U don't speak English, U speak American.