Tips for Northerners Moving South
這篇生活小常識是寫給即將要從北方搬到南方的人, 藉由這樣子的方式, 你可以多了解一些美國南方人的生活習慣. 當然其中不免有些誇大, 但也多少透露出北方人對南方人的一些刻板印象.
| 1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You
will be instructed later how to use it. 把你所有的培根油 (bacon grease) 都留著, 稍後就會有人教你如何用它. (南方人太喜歡吃 bacon grease 了) |
| 2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer
to him (or her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being right. 如果你忘了一個南方人的名字, 你就叫它 (Bubba), 就會有 75% 的機會被你猜對. (因為南方人很多都叫 Bob 不然就是 Bobby.) |
| 3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice
does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows. 你能在雪地中開車不代表我們就能. 一年中唯一下雪的二天你就待在家裏休息吧. (南方很少下雪, 一年最多下個二三次, 但幾乎每次一下雪就放假一天.) |
| 4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals
and bait in the same store. 當你發現錄影帶出租店居然在賣魚餌時, 不要太驚訝. (鄉下地方不都是這樣?) |
| 5. Do not buy food at the movie store. 不要在錄影帶店買食物. (因為你買到的可能是魚餌!!) |
| 6. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it
ain't worth cooking, let alone eating. 如果某樣食物不能用培根油 (bacon grease) 來炒, 它就不值得煮來吃, 更不用說拿來吃了. (暗諷南方人什麼都要用 bacon grease 炒來吃.) |
| 7. Remember: "Y'all" is
singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural
possessive. 記得, "Y'all" 是單數, "All y'all" 是複數, "All y'alls" 是複數所有格. (南方人喜歡用 y'all 來代替 you, 正如同北方人喜歡用 you guy 來代指 you 是一樣的, 例如 see you later 你就可以說成 see y'all later.) |
| 8. There is nothing sillier than a Northerner
imitating a southern accent, unless it is a southerner imitating a Boston accent 沒有任何一件事是比北方人模仿南方人口音更愚蠢的事了, 除了南方人想去模仿波士頓口音這件事之外. (南方人有一種特殊的口音, 而且很難模仿. 而北方口音中則以波士頓這個地方最具代表性.) |
| 9. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around
here, are you?" 習慣聽人家這麼說, "你不是從這裏來的, 對吧?" (北方人來到南方由於生活習慣的不同, 一下子就會被認出來.) |
| 10. People walk slower here. 這裏的人都走得比較慢. (南方的生活步調通常都比較慢.) |
| 11. Don't be worried that you don't
understand anyone. They don't understand you either. 不用擔心你不了解其它人在講什麼, 他們同樣也聽不懂你在講什麼. (南方口音有時候還真的是蠻難聽懂的.) |
| 12. The proper pronunciation you learned in
school is no longer proper. 你在學校中所學到的正確發音再也不正確了. (講得也是南方人的口音很重.) |
| 13. Be advised: The "He needed
killin'" defense is valid here. 接受一下這個建議, "他需要殺戮" 也算是正當防衛的一種. (南方人許多人家裏都有槍, 不要隨便闖入別人家裏.) |
| 14. If attending a funeral in the South,
remember, we stay until the last shovel of dirt is thrown on and the tent is torn down. 如果你在南方參加一個葬禮的話, 一定要等到最後一鏟土放下去, 帳篷都拆掉了才能走. (反正南方人有的是時間.) |
| 15. If you hear a Southerner exclaim,
"Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last
words he will ever say. 如果你聽到一個南方人大喊, "喂! 看看這個東西." 那麼你最好離他遠一點, 因為這很可能是他這一生最後的一句話. (開車走路不專心, 後果自行負責吧!) |
| 16. Most Southerners do not use turn signals,
and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a
southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was
purchased. 大多數的南方人都不喜歡用方向燈, 就算有人用, 其它人也會忽略它. 事實上, 如果你看到有一台車的方向燈在閃的話, 那麼你可以確定這一定是從這輛車買來之後, 方向燈就一直閃著的. (南方人開車很隨興, 才不用什麼方向燈呢! 如果有人在閃方向燈, 那一定是方向燈壞掉了.) |
| 17. Northerners can be identified by the spit
on the inside of their car's windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers. 你可以從擋風玻璃上的口水分辨出誰是北方人, 因為他們總是對著其它的駕駛人大吼大叫. (北方人生活步調快, 開車也快, 當然不習慣南方人那麼樣優閒的開車方式.) |
| 18. The winter wardrobe you always brought
out in September can wait until November. 你九月份買的衣櫃可以等到十一月才開始用. (南方的天氣很暖活, 不像北方那樣寒冷.) |
| 19. If there is the prediction of the
slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is
required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from
the store, it is just something you're supposed to do. 如果天氣預報說, 有一點點可能會積一點小雪的話, 那你就要趕快去超市買東西. 你需不需要什麼東西倒無所謂, 反正你要去就對了. (小笨霖贊曰: 這實在說得太深刻了, 每次預報說可能會下一點雪, 我們這裏超市的生鮮食品立刻就被搶購一空, 因為只要一下雪, 大家就無法出門了, 所以要趕緊囤積食物. 這跟台灣的颱風症候群是不是也蠻像的呢?) |
| 20. Satellite dishes are very popular in the South.
When you purchase one it is to be positioned directly in front of your trailer. This is
logical bearing in mind that the dish cost considerabley more than the trailer and should,
therefore, be displayed. 在南方衛星天線是很受歡迎的, 而且當你買了一個之後, 你就應該把它放在你拖車屋 (trailer) 的前面. 這是很合乎邏輯的, 因為通常衛星天線比你的拖車還貴, 所以值得展示. (南方有許多人是住在拖車屋裏-- trailer house 或簡稱 trailer. 這基本上這就是所謂的貨櫃屋, 但是你可以請一台拖車--trailer 把它倒處拖著跑, 所以有點像是現代的遊牧民族.) |
| 21. Tornadoes and Southerners going through a
divorce have a lot in common. In either case, you know someone is going to lose a trailer. 龍捲風跟南方人要離婚在很多方面是很像的, 不管是哪一種情況, 都有人會失去拖車屋. (龍捲風把屋子吹壞這可以理解, 但為什麼離婚跟拖車屋有關呢? 因為拖車屋就是他們最主要的財產吧! 離婚呢? 當然就要把財產分一分了.) |
| 22. Florida is not considered a southern
state. There are far more Yankees than Southerners living there. 佛羅里達不被認為是南方的州, 住在那的北方人遠比南方人來的多. (傳統上的南方是指喬治亞, 田納西, 阿肯色, 阿拉巴馬, 密西西比, 路易西安那這些地方. 佛羅里達算是觀光盛地, 很多的居民都都來自北方.) |
| 23. You can ask a Southerner for directions,
but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off
trying to find it yourself. 你可以向一個南方人問路, 但除非你對那裏的一草一木都很熟悉, 不然你還是要自己找路. (南方算是比較鄉下地方, 所以比較沒有明顯人為的地標, 例如高樓, 加油站等. 所以他們都會用大樹或是石頭來當作指路的地標.) |
原著: 不可考 翻譯: 小笨霖 2.6, 2000
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